When we hear the word abuse in relationships, what comes to mind is physical assault and domestic violence.
It
is not hard to understand why this happens – physical abuse is the most
visible form and it seems to be all around us, in reality and in the
news.
But physical abuse is not the only form of abuse and according to Inemesit Udodiong, it is not even the worst.
On the last episode of Love, Sex and Everything else, the presenter says with physical abuse you can “see the signs. You can say, ‘hey, look, I have been abused, I have been violated, I’ve been assaulted.’
But
with emotional abuse, your brain is messed up, and half the time you
are left wondering maybe you are even the problem [when in truth, you
should never feel that way because you’re the one being abused]”
So, what are the signs you’ll see in an emotionally-abusive partner, or one who has such tendencies?
They try to isolate you
“There is nothing wrong with a partner trying to have you themselves,” the presenter says.
If,
however, that partner freaks out everytime you try to hang out with
friends and colleagues, or becomes uncomfortable when you make efforts
to stay in close quarters with your family members, then that might be a
sign that they will prey on your emotions.
People
need other people as support systems, and abusive people know this. So
they detach you totally from these people till they are all you have,
and that is when the abuse will begin – when you have no one to run to,
no option but to stick right there with them.
Overly critical
If you are
with someone who constantly sees no good in what you do, whom you can’t
please or do right by, Inem says that is one of the signs you’ll need
in identifying that such person is an emotionally-abusive partner.
“They are constantly criticizing you,” she says. “What that does,” she further says, “is
that it messes with your self-esteem and before you know it you are
feeling like ‘Ok, maybe there’s something wrong with me’”
Too domineering and jealous
One
other way of recognizing an emotionally-abusive partner is that they
are unnecessarily possessive and try to control everything about you.
Being in a relationship should never totally rid you of your freedom, and should not erode all your sense of self
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